This is a $9 Billion Dollars check that was issued by Mitsubishi UFJ and payable to Morgan Stanley. Mitsubishi UFJ issued the $9 Billion Dollars check in fall of 2008 and sent it to Morgan Stanley to save them from complete financial collapse. The original intentions were to wire the money electronically but since Morgan Stanley was in a lot of poop and could pop any minute, the electronic transfer may not have reached them fast enough, so Mitsubishi UFJ made an exception and issued an actual hard copy check for 9 Billion Dollars. It is likely the largest check ever written.

There’s nothing like a little jerk-off to a picture of fruit in a glass bowl. If you’ve never jerked off to a picture of a fruit in a glass bowl – OWM, you have no idea what you’re missing out on. Here’s a video to give you some inspiration and seriously… don’t pass up on the best this life has to offer. Jerk it off… to a picture of fruit in a glass bowl. Hellz yeah!

No matter how hard you try, you can’t be any more of a loser than this groom in the video. He’s standing before the minister, he pulls out his cell phone to update his status on Facebook and Twitter. His wife to be in a few second – Tracy was handed a cell phone too to help updating cause when loser marry, you wanna make sure both are on the same page. Complete fail at life.

Laws exist to ensure public safety. How is it possible that there is no law banning females from driving is beyond me. Each woman behind a wheel of an automobile is a deadly weapon and a danger to public safety. No matter how politically correct you choose to be, women can NOT drive. Period. This should not be discussed any further. It’s an undisputed fact and action should be taken to prevent further damage to lives and property. Ban Female Drivers NOW!

The video above hit the internet several days ago. I was the only one who immediately identified the driver as a female when the video was posted on AlbertaStars.com. It was a no brainer – it takes a woman to deliver parking fail of such epic proportions and then casually drive away like nothing happened. I’ve been saying it all along, now it’s time to take action: Ban Female Drivers. For the sake of public safety, act not and ban female drivers immediately.

The woman who has no business driving in this video is Tripta Kaushal. 62 year old worthless driver (just as all women are) wanted to go to Extreme Fitness club in Thornhill, Ontario, Canada to get some fitness in her useless body but changed her mind after this epic parking fail. Instead of getting some fitness going, Tripta Kaushal casually reversed her BMW X5 and drove off like nothing happened.

What stupid wench did not realize (woman), is that her epic driving capabilities were recorded on club’s surveillance camera and posted on the internet. From there it was a mere question of time before the video took off and went viral. It takes a woman to deliver this shit.

One of the cars Tripta Kaushal destroyed was a 2004 Hyunday Elantra which belonged to Todd Jamison, system administrator at Extreme Fitness. He was obviously not happy seeing his piece of crap Hyunday destroyed, consulted the surveillance tapes and contacted the police. Through video enhancements, the police were able to get the license plate number of the SUV that destroyed Elantra and traced down the female driver – Tripta Kaushal.

Tripta Kaushal was charged with failing to remain at the scene of an accident and Todd Jamison… he was offered a brand new, 2010 Hyunday Elantra as a random act of kindness by Hyunday Canada. The best PR Hyunday could ever do for themselves. Congrats. Now if they only could lobby for banning of female drivers. We need to get the likes of Tripta Kaushal off Canadian roads.

Have you ever wondered what rich people eat and drink when they enter poshy establishments in metropolitan cities? Well, now you can find out. Pictured above is the copy of the bill Russian billionaire and the owner of Chelsea Football Club – Roman Abramovich paid during his stop at Nelly’s in New York.

The $47,000 bill Roman Abramovich picked up covered food and drink for himself and five friends. Most of the items are not that bad, just with upscale establishment prices ($27 for a capuccino), the bil grew into tens of thousands of dollars with bottles of expensive wines. Roman Abramovich won’t drink just about any wine, he must have La Tache Romanee Conti, a wine that costs $5000 per bottle. To keep the mood going, the party got additional two bottles of Chateau Petrus, another expensive wine that costs $5k per bottle and then there are also two bottles of Crystal Rose Magnum which are just as expensive. Must have been nice being a waiter who got Roman Abramovich and his people to serve to. 20% gratuity ended up being over $7000.

Source: BuzzFeed

EDIT:

Beer Steak Blog has been notified about the following:

This bill did not belong to Roman Abramovich. He and his party spent only about 3% of this amount in that restaurant. Furthermore, he and his party of 5 (half of whom do not drink) did not order 6 bottles of alcohol for an 75-minute lunch.

We apologize for publishing incorrect information.

While Alessandra Ambrosio is a pretty hot piece of ass and looks smoking in the bikini for Victoria’s Secret, she didn’t blow me off my socks as much as Miranda Kerr yesterday. These are just some paparazzi pictures, not officially released Victoria Secret photos of Alessandra Ambrosio which may be the reason why.

Brazilian chicks never did it for me. They lack cuteness. It’s all mass sexism, no girl next door cuteness in Brazil. Victoria’s Secret clearly has some marketing plans behind their belt which would explain why there are so many leaked pictures of their top models in bikini lately. Must have something to do with upcoming Christmas season. Enjoy the pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio if you like Brazilian ass in the gallery below:

Alessandra Ambrosio Pictures by FamePictures.com

Just when you thought loser Apple fanboys couldn’t get any more moronic, they’ve managed to outdo themselves. Again! As failed response to complete pwnage of iPhones by Droid Does, small dick losers also known as desperate owners of Apple products pulled a miserable attempt at letting everyone know that even though they are stuck with biggest piece of shit made by failed company, they are gonna keep shoving it up their lose anal cavity cause once a fanboy, always a loser.

The biggest FAIL of the iDon’t Care failure is the part where it says “iDon’t buy brands that bash other brands.” ROTFLMFAO – you failed loser of a fanboy. Apple can’t make a working product so they are unable to offer any highlights of it in their ads. As a result each Apple ad is about bashing other products. What’s that failed Mac retard’s name again from Apple’s ads? Justin Long or something? And you’re gonna tell me you don’t buy brands that bash other brands? Effin loser. Like I would expect something more sophisticated from Mac fanboy!

Giuliano Stroe is a 5 year old kid from Romania (yes, that’s where Dracula’s Castle is located) who is in the Guinness Book of Worlds Records for his unsurpassed hand walking skills. Despite his age, the 5 year old body builder Giuliano Stroe sports a six pack most grown men can’t show. He probably can’t even read yet (not sure at what age the kids start to go to school in Romania) and his name is already in the Guinness Book of Worlds Records and that’s not because he was born into something. He’s there because of hard work he put towards his body building.

I’m not an expert on child development, but I’d say it’s a bit early to put a preschool kid through weight lifting training, but who cares, really. By the time Giuliano Stroe grows pubic hair he’ll be famous enough to get any vagina he wants and if he keeps it up with the six pack, he’s gonna have ladies sit on him like flies of bucket of honey. If early age body building cripples Giuliano Stroe up in an older age, he won’t give a poop anyway. The point is to eff as much pussy as one can while he still can. Giuliano Stroe’s gonna get a lot of it and pretty soon. Keep it up kid. You’ll be glad you did.

The video of Giuliano Stroe, the 5 Year Old Body Builder from Romania that took off on the internet and made the kid the most popular viral thing for a few days is below:

So I haven’t been around much lately because I’m traveling around the world, but when the story of Cheerleader Desiree Jennings was brought to my attention, I lost all hope for humanity again. Do you people actually believe this story? Do you actually believe Desiree Jennings suffers from some “rare disorder” called Dystonia which she should have developed after getting a flu shot? While I can imagine flu shots can go wrong in all sorts of manner, why is it always a failed cheerleader of below average looks who believes she’s the next superstar but the stardom has been avoiding her that comes with gut wrenching story for publicity? Why is it not some normal girl who pulls publicity stunt of this kind?

I’m having hard time believing Desiree Jennings’ story no matter how much she tries to play nerve wrecking moves when she stops running. I can’t believe the news reporter is playing her game and doesn’t simply tell her to quit the bullshit and start acting like an adult she should be. Was he so taken aback by her below average looks he had to play a puppet on a string? That’s some seriously pathetic shit right there. Too many question marks in a simple equation. Desiree Jennings got her 5 minutes of fame. I’ll eat a cactus if her story is true and she actually suffered from real neurological disorder after that flu shot. Is Dystonia just a name for something doctor’s don’t even know what it is?

Video of bad acting skills on behalf of Desiree Jennings and a news reporter is below. Seems pretty pathetic to me, to be honest.

I’m pretty sure this dude is not just drunk. He’s taken some good shit and it messed up with his head beyond reckoning. He clearly doesn’t mean any harm, but he’s fucked up too much and everything just twists before his eyes. Back in a day, drunk Russian on his epic quest to get home was the drunkest guy on the face of the planet, right now it is this guy in the convenience store.

This video, albeit long gave me countless LOLs. SO fucking funny it’s beyond words. He even has munchies and wants to send them away with beer so he correctly navigates to the isle with cold beer and initiates his quest to buy a box. He’s failing miserably but still remains pretty cool. Too drunk to achieve anything, though. Hilarious