Beer Steak Bullshit

Rihanna‘s real name is Robyn Fenty. And you’re probably thinking the same as I was – who the fuck is Rihanna? And… who the fuck cares. The answer is simple – nobody. That applies to both questions. I’ve done some research on Robyn Fenty aka Rihanna and yes, there’s some painfully awful music connected with her name. Made me puke rum and coke out of my beer gut. Luckily I puked in a bucket so it all went back in the gut.

The reason why name Robyn Fenty started popping out, even though almost nobody knows Rihanna under that name, is alleged attack on her by the one person who does know her as Robyn Fenty – Chris Brown. That’s another douche who should get proper education on what the music should sound like so he no longer tortures our ear drums with his shit. Chris Brown had erection problems or some shit, got all pissy about it and beat the fuck out of his girlfriend Rihanna. He’s now facing domestic violence charges.

The whole incident took place in Hancock Park, which is part of Los Angeles, California. Cali cops arrested Chris Brown, but have the policy not to issue names of victims of domestic violence crimes, so it is not 100% known whether it was in fact Robyn Fenty he beat the shit out of. Several mainstream media however identified the victim as Robyn Fenty, who was also seen entering Cedar hospital.

I made that shit about erection problems up, but I’m trying to think of any other reason why a douche would beat up his girlfriend. Maybe Rihanna gave Christ Brown herpes for all I know. That’s all but speculations. The reason I can’t think of any reasons, is because I don’t remember last time I had a girlfriend. I don’t even see erection problems as problems. I’m actually glad if I can locate my penis within never-ending folds of fat that built up around my waist area. I’m lucky they make stationary dildoes. I can always superglue one of those on my oversized chair, pour motor oil on it and shove it up my ass as I’m sitting on the chair. Yes, I still have sex life, as you can see.

And just in case talking about crappy music spoiled your day, let me fix you up. None of that Robyn Fenty aka Rihanna shit, enough of that Chris Brown bullcrap, have some motherfucking Gojira from Hellfest 2006 in France. Fucking sick shit!