Beer Steak Bullshit

That Keira Knightley and Rupert Friend quit with their bedside friskies became pretty obvious a few months ago but the break up has not been officially announced until now. Keira’s dad attended an “I’m Relevant” chat session with the journalist from British The Sun newspaper to make the news of his daughter’s break up with her boyfriend of 5 years official.

And as it goes with celebrity break ups, Keira’s dad blamed it on the paparazzi. Rupert Friend was allegedly getting severely agitated by always being followed and photographed, though Keira just went with it and accepted it as a necessary evil which comes complimentary of her success as an actress. Still, it created unbearable pressure between the two and the result is this today announced split.

So Rupert Friend maintains that he didn’t like the attention of the paparazzi? That’s kind of strange given that he always seems gleaming of joy in every picture paparazzi took of him with Keira Knightley. Rupert Friend seems to act like a 7 year old girl in her mom’s night gown, wearing a lipstick and too large to fit high heels who can’t get enough of herself posing in front of the mirror. That’s about how much he hated paparazzi but if they needed the reason to justify their breakup, they had to come up with something that’s easy for general public to accept. Paparazzi, eh?

Source: The Sun

I know you all can’t wait what Prince William’s penis and Kate Middleton’s vagina looks like and your wishes are about to come true. Prince William and Kate Middleton hed their personal digital camera stolen and as it turns out, the chip could contain sex pics of the couple doing nasty things to each other. Let the sexual fantasies take off – what do you think sex between Prince William and Kate Middleton looks like? Prince William probably puts a ring gag in Kate Middleton, ties her up in unescapable Japanese bondage, puts clothes pins on her nipples and labia and slashes her with a cane. And she screams: “Thank you, Master!” – Nah, I made that all up. Prince William would never do that to her. Kate Middleton looks like she could easily take it in the ass. My type of lay…

Enough blabber. British The Sun reports that they were offered sex pics of Prince William and Kate Middleton that are reportedly on a flash card from a stolen camera. Two guys who claim they’ve got the cam with intimate pics asked for £50,000.

Instead of creating another sex scandal, The Sun reported the buggers to the police who arrested one guy who’s now held on suspicion of theft and attempted money laundering. FAIL!

Aside form boring pictures of Prince William and Kate Middleton swimming and frolicking together, the camera reportedly contained pictures of the couple making out in the Caribbean while on the holiday. The Royals made sure none of the pics leak to the public and The Sun did their civic duty in protecting the family. I’m sure there were pictures much juicier than what we’re being told, but Queen wouldn’t be impressed if hard core BDSM pics of her grand son got plastered all over the net. If he keeps it up, we’re gonna get them sooner or later. I’m all juiced up already…

Prince William and Kate Middleton image credit: WENN

Source: Bumpshack